I tossed my Selfish Genes out the window

In fact…I think my ’selfish’ genes are dancing around with all of my pre-pregnancy clothes…they have taken one last glance in my direction, mumbled ‘Sucker’ under their breath and are mambo-ing off into the sunset.

You could call this loss of selfishness: Motherlove.  And, I think it just sort of happened.  I might not acutally get to take credit for it entirely….

Fellow Mommys will understand what I am talking about.  When you have a baby….all thoughts of yourself take an automatic backseat.  Most of the time, this happens before you have even realized it. Suddenly you find yourself giving up the last bite of that yummy gooey butter cake you’ve been craving or whipping your own coat off in 40 degree temperatures to make sure your little one is warm enough.

Sound familiar yet?  Maybe these moments will:  There is one piece of over-cooked chicken in the whole batch…guess who eats it?  That’s right, Mommy.  There is a last minute need for cupcakes at your child’s school…who stays up til midnight making them?  You guessed it. Mommy.   Baby can’t sleep…who is camping out on the floor to keep him company?  Oh yes, Mommy.  Your toddler has the stomach flu….who feels it down her back…and doesn’t even run to the nearest shower, but instead keeps the comfort coming?  Yep, Mommy.

Your three year old wants a sip of your water and you know the crumbs from her food are going to end up floating on the surface.  You still share, don’t you?  You are exhausted, but your son really wants you to sing and dance to ‘Ring Around the Rosie’ just onemoretime, soooo…I know you put on your dancing shoes!  You haven’t taken a shower, or, forheavenssake, gone to the bathroom by yourself since 1977, but you still answer, “I’m in here!”….as soon as someone calls your name. A foul ball is aiming for your family and you throw your full body over your child to protect them without covering your own head.

It is like I heard Suze Orman once explain….when the flight attendants remind people to (in the event of a loss of cabin pressure…if the oxygen masks fall from the ceiling) cover their own faces first and then help those around them….they are talking to MOMMYs!!  Because you know our first instinct is to protect our kids.

When was the last time you ate your meal hot? When was the last time you watched what you wanted to see on tv?  Or listened to something other than Radio Disney in the car?  Sure, sure…it is a real party pleaser that we can recite “Dora, Dora, Dora the Exploooorer” at the drop of a hat, and we can tell you who sings “Hakuna Matata”, but since I’m not going to be on “Who’s Smarter than a Pre-Schooler?” any time soon…I can’t exactly classify this as top-notch info.

We give and we love and we give some more.  I, for one, have to admit to missing my selfish genes, just a little (well…maybe sometimes alot) but, I do know I wouldn’t trade my kids. (Scratch that….today, I would have, but most days, I wouldn’t let you have them)  And I do know we wouldn’t really trade any of these moments.  Sometimes you can find the joy in sharing that last bite of dessert…sometimes those late and sleepless nights mean extra hugs and cuddles you don’t normally get during the day.  Maybe I wasn’t supposed to have the big, juciy piece of chicken :)  Maybe my knowledge of pre-school songs will come in handy some day.

Today…I hope you realize how extraordinary your love, selflessness and sacrifice truly are.  Today, I hope you take a deep breath and say, “yes…I am extraordinary.”

 www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

96 Questions

96…that’s how many questions my three year old asked me today.

And, no, that doesn’t include the ‘whys’.  I figure I’m in the thousands if I get to include the ‘whys’.  So, for counting purposes, I just included the actual questions I was required to answer today.

“Mommy, what are we doing today?”  This is a Delaney favorite…I get it first thing in the morning and then roughly another 4 times throughout the day.  “What are we doing tomorrow?” My carpe diem deprived daughter is always looking to the future.  She MUST know what she has to look forward to.

Like most parents, I get the standards, “What is for breakfast? (lunch, dinner, snack), “Can I watch Dora?”(Why not?) Right, I know, we aren’t counting the ‘whys’! “Can I go outside?”, (No, it is raining again) “Do I really have to take a nap?” (Absolutely) “What are you doing?” (this answer varies, but it is usually fixing whatever toy has just been broken or needs new batteries) “Who are you talking to?” (Daddy, Nana…etc.) and “Will you hold me?” (this is a favorite, BTW)

But these are the most unique of the day:  “Mommy, can we make a cushion pool?” (Pull ALL the cushions off the couch to jump into?  Yes, you can…mainly because I’m THRILLED she asked permission!)  “Are you dying?” (No) “Is Daddy dying?” (No) “Am I dying?” (No) “Is Santa coming tonight?” (No) “Do I like green beans?” (No, but I wish you did) “Can I have a baby sister?” (That would be a negative) “Do you like the frame I gave you for Mother’s Day?” (Of course) “Is your name Ms. Kara?” (Nope…not unless I’ve transformed into a cute 20-something preschool teacher) “Do you know how to spell chair?” (Yes….do you?  Unless chair is now spelled A-I-P-O-I-N, I’m guessing that’s a no)

Oh….I’m just getting warmed up: “Why is it raining?”, “Can I wear flip flops in the rain?”,”Why do I have to wear a sweater?”, “Why can’t I have milk right before bed anymore?”, (leaking pull-ups, folks…leaking pull ups are the bane of my existance) “Why won’t Cooper share with me?”, “Is there a mean witch coming?”,”Why do you like that song?”, “Are those new shoes, Mommy?”, “Can I lay in your bed tonight?”, “Do I have to take a bath?”

Right about now, you are either smiling and nodding your head in understanding the way only a parent of a toddler can….or you are afraid….very afraid. :) 

I’ll save you the pain of reading through any more of my sweet girl’s questions….but, don’t you worry…they are ping-ponging through my brain as I type….  (Must take tylenol to prepare for tomorrow’s onslaught!)

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

On Gratitude

It is on a day like today….a cool and gloomy one (yep….it is mid-May and yep, it is cool (low 60’s) and rainy off and on) that I feel compelled to focus on the things that make me happy…the things that inspire gratitude.  So, here goes.

Exercise. Potato salad (I know…doesn’t mix with exercise, but I can’t help it), doing puzzles with my kids, skipping hand in hand with my daughter, cat naps, my IPOD, making bloggy friends, faith, a good book, the phrase “let it be”, monograms, unexpected goodwill, tylenol, the color of raspberries, a new pen, sheets right out of the dryer, knocking items off my ‘to-do’ list, Sandra Boynton books for kids, kissing my husband, hearing my husband say, ‘hi gorgeous’ to Delaney, Santa Barbara, a healthy family, when someone holds the door open for me, feeling organized, cleaning out a messy closet, finding the perfect gift, tea parties, address labels, drinking lots of water, reconnecting with a long-lost friend, the word ’spectacular’, freckles, watching a movie, having a date-night with my husband, baseball games, toddler hugs and kisses and the fabulous massage I got on Mother’s Day.

How strong is your faith?

I’m in awe of people who are able to rely COMPLTELY on their faith in times of tragedy and personal crisis.

I’m amazed that, through what must be a very deep pain, one can see a shining light and focus on the good.

Take Heather at Mom4Life as an example.  This is a woman who’s level of faith, strength and composure absolutely robs me of breath.  One week ago, Heather learned that the baby (Sawyer) she was expecting in only 3 weeks, no longer had a beating heart.  In the past 7 days…she has gone from an excited expectant mother to a mother preparing for a funeral.  Late last week, she labored and gave birth to baby Sawyer.  Through it all, she has continued to look for the rainbows through the rain, she has focused on the plan she is certain God has in place and has taken the love and support from friends and strangers (like me) to heart.

It appears to me that her journaling is helping….but it is tremendous to me that she can sound so composed, that she can speak so eloquently and that she is managing to focus on the beauty in her life.

I admire Heather and the many people like her, who are capable of putting their hurt in God’s hands.  I am humbled by the faith they exhibit and the trust they live. 

I am confident there will be loss and pain in my life….I can only hope to be as grounded in faith, as strong, as sure, as Heather is.   Many more prayers are coming your way, Heather.

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

I’m joining the party

I can’t help it.  I’m joining the party.  I really do like Mommy blog parties…..lots of new friends to make and fabulous blogs to read.

 

If you are new to visiting me…I’m a mommy to two darling little ones…Delaney is almost 4 and Coop is nearing his big ‘number 2′ birthday. 

I am in love with my husband….  I’m a California girl living in the Midwest. I’m a writer….a talker and, I’d like to think, ‘a doer’.  I like to be busy….and am prone to having trouble saying, ‘no’.  I love to read…I love to travel and wouldn’t know what to do without my family.  I have a new passion: I started a website for mommys…www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com with the hopes of inspiring moms to embrace the ‘extraordinary’ within.  Stop by!  I’d love to know what you think!

I’m happy you came by to visit….leave me a comment…I’d love to stop by to visit you!

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

The days are LONG but the years are SHORT

This just might be my new phrase to live and love by.  It puts ‘parenting’ in one little bitty sentence that packs a real punch.

It was during our beautiful Mother’s Day mass yesterday that our priest used this quote….and since then, I have found myself thinking it over and over again. 

As a mommy, I do find myself stuck in a ‘long day’ rut.  We do many of the same things over and over again….get up, dress the kids, make breakfast, play with the kids, park time, errands, make lunch, naptime, play with the kids, clean the house, clean up the toys, make dinner…and in between all of that there is my work as a referee, expert ‘colorer’ and craft-maker, toy-fixer, laundry fiend, friend, wife, worker….

But when did my little girl learn to say ‘impressive’ in a sentence?  And when did my little boy learn to pull his pants up by himself?  Is it possible they are almost 4 and 2?  Can he really count to 15? And hit a pop-up off a tee?  Can she really do a sommersault with no hands? And kick a soccer ball?  Is she really on a T-Ball team? And when did she learn to rhyme ‘dog’ and ‘fog’?  When did he learn to say ‘too’ after “Mommy, I love you”?  Did I really catch him WALKING up and down the stairs all by himself? Did she really keep my mother’s day present a secret?  Seriously, she can keep a secret?  Was it a mirage….or were they really sitting on the couch together…..her arm around him….his head on her shoulder as she read to him? She isn’t allowed to call me, “Mom” yet, is she?  Isn’t there a minimum age requirement for that?

The minutes are too precious to miss.  The days may sometimes seem long as they are happening, but, wow…I’m confident I will soon blink and they will be pre-teens….and then teenagers….and then adults.  Whoa….sorry….my chest is tightening…need to take a deep breath.

OK…that’s better….focusing on the ‘now’.  Right now, they are both napping.  Right now, I have only a few more minutes before they awake and we play.  Right now, they are still approaching their 4th and 2nd birthdays.  Right now, I’m still Mommy to a couple of toddlers.  Right now, they still giggle when I tickle them.  Right now, they still want to be tucked into bed.  Right now, I’m one of their favorite playmates. Right now, I’m lucky to have been given the gift of learning, “the days are long, but the years are short”.

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

 

The very heart of kindness

Have you ever witnessed an amazing act of kindness that makes you question if you have that level of giving deep in your heart?  The kind of self-sacrifice that you hope you possess?

Well…I have…and I’m proud to say the ‘giver’ in this situation is my mom.

Just about a month ago, my mom learned that her uncle had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer.  This uncle is someone my mom has stayed in touch with over the years, but has probably only seen a half dozen times in her life. (He moved away from her home town when she was a child) Knowing he was alone and suffering, she hopped on a plane and flew half way across the country to visit him. 

After spending a weekend with him, she realized he wasn’t eating and wasn’t taking his medication regularly.  He also expressed a desire to live out his final days at home rather than at the hospital.  This was all the information my heart-of-gold mother needed.  She returned home, took a leave of absence from work, packed up her car, drove more than 1000 miles and moved herself in with him.

The man who only a week before was still talking and walking, could no longer move himself or even swallow.  He passed away just after midnight on Saturday night…just the way he had hoped:  peacefully in his sleep.  It is my mom who made this final wish a reality.  In his final days she made sure he was loved: she read to him, she put lotion on his hands, she carried him from his bed to the couch when he wanted to get up. She made sure he was comfortable and comforted.  This makes her a very special kind of angel.

I hope I inherited her wings.

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

If your little one could write a thank you…

It might go something like this….

Thank you, Mommy, for holding me close to your heart for 9 months, for eating the right foods and passing up all of the ‘bad’ stuff you love.  Thank you for turning over everytime I kicked…I sure was a bit cramped.  (but definitely cuddled) Thank you for temporarily giving up your body so I could have mine.

Thank you for waiting months or years to adopt me. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for laboring for hours and giving me life.  Thank you for being the first person to hold me, smile at me and hug me.  I recognized you right away.  You made me feel welcome.

Thank you for getting up in the middle of the night to feed me.  Thank you for getting up ‘just to check on me’ even when you thought I was sleeping.  (I felt your presence and knew I was safe).  Thank you for teaching me to smile.  I understood how to do it by watching you.  Thank you for helping me to crawl and to walk.  Thank you for holding me while I was sick.  I know you probably wanted to shower after I threw up on you….but you made me feel like there was no where else on earth you would rather be. It is in your arms that I feel best.

Thank you for tucking me into bed at night.  Thank you for reading Good Night Moon to me every night for 6 months.  Thank you for singing ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’ from November until June because it made me happy.  Thank you for hugging me and tickling me and reminding me how much I am loved. Thank you for staying home with me. Thank you for working outside our home to take care of our family.  Thank you for mastering the Diaper Genie….I know you didn’t learn that in school, but it sure keeps my room smelling clean.  Thank you for making sure I always have my blanket or favorite stuffed animal.  They remind me of you…that is why they are so important to me.

Thank you for coloring and painting and play-dohing.  Thank you for letting me help you cook dinner even though it takes twice as long when I do.  Thank you taking a bean bag to the face when I was learning to throw.  Thank you for watching Dora the Explorer with me until your dreams began to happen in Spanish. Thank you for using your imagination to join me in my castle, my garden, my ball field.  My imaginary worlds wouldn’t be the same without you.

Thank you for letting me lick the batters when you make cupcakes.  Thank you for making peanut butter and jelly again since you know I don’t like to eat much. Thank you for running to me when I have a bad dream.  You’re in my room before I even finish calling your name. Thank you for whispering, “Mommy loves you” every night when you thought I was asleep.  Thank you for potty-training me - I know I made it very hard on you. Thank you for giving me a brother or sister.  I love having a built-in playmate and I love knowing you have room in your heart for both of us.

Thank you for holding my hand, for carrying me on your back when I’m tired and for always finding room in your lap to hold me.  Thank you for recognizing when I don’t feel well…before anyone else has a clue…and for keeping the magic in your kisses;  they always make me feel better.

Thank you for being strong enough to let me try something new and smart enough to know when to say ‘no’ to me….even when I really want you to say ‘yes’.

Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for being the first and best teacher I will ever have.  Thank you for being a shining example of what Motherhood really means.

Happy Mother’s Day.

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

I have a confession to make

Before I was a Mommy…I wondered about all of the trinkets and handmade items my mom had collected from my brother and I over the years.  I was curious about her decision to proudly display stuffed animals we had given as gifts years after the fact. 

I tilted my head in bewilderment at the notion that I would ever find such joy in an illegible card or keep the first writing of “Mommy” in my bedside table even after my children are grown.

But I get it now.  Today I received the best gift I have ever received.

This came home from school with Delaney today.  The note says:

A piece of me I give to you. I painted this flower to say I love you.  The heart is you.  The hand is me.  To show we are friends-the best there can be.  I hope you will save it, and look back someday, at the flower we shared on your special day.  Happy Mother’s Day.

Yes, I cried.  Yes, I will keep it forever.  Yes, I want it hanging in my room.  Yes, I want to cast it in bronze so it never loses its shape or size.  Yes, I will likely cry every time I read it.  Yes, Delaney will hit her teen years and roll her eyes in disbelief that something so small can have such a special place in my heart.  And I will just have to give her the same knowing smile my mom gave me.

Since Delaney is just now almost 4…this is the first time I have received a ‘created by Delaney’ gift. I can’t wait to create my own special stash of these wonderful treasures.

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com

Weighing in

Delaney found the scale in the bathroom this morning.  She jumped on and then off….and then on and then off again. 

Me:  Hop on again so we can see how much you weigh

Delaney: How much I weigh?

Me: Yes.  Hop on.

Delaney (getting on)  What does it say?

Me:  Wow.  What a big girl!  You weigh 32 pounds.

Delaney:  Mommy, you get on.

(I step up)

Delaney: Whoo Hoo Mommy….look at that big number you get!

 

www.ExtraordinaryMommy.com