Right about now, you’re laughing at the possible connection between any of the title’s words and being a Mommy, aren’t you? I know you are, because I often laugh at myself when I so much as think them. I know, I know, who has time to think, let alone relax?
I have recently found myself lost in a battle to control my own life. Take this morning for an example. I’ll bullet it for you (try not to be bored):
Mini woke me up by stage-whispering in my ear (stage whispering sounds like yelling when applied directly to the ear drum.) I’m not a morning person. When I’m startled awake, I am crabby. Coop started yelling, ‘I need Mommy’. I took a deep breath, turned on the Today show so I could see ‘Where in the World is Matt Lauer”, snarled at the TV in pure jealousy when I saw he was on a beautiful beach in the Indian Ocean, hopped up (a slight exaggeration….I don’t hop in the morning) and made the bed. Got both kids dressed. Asked them to be nice to each other. Held Coop when he said, “hold you”. Washed my face and brushed my teeth. Held Delaney when she asked. Hit rewind on the TV so the kids could see the fruit bat Matt Lauer was holding. Separated the kids b/c they were starting to bicker. Hit rewind again. Got dressed. Downstairs to make breakfast. Wiped up spilled cereal. Asked Coop to keep his spoon out of his hair. Made sure the kids ate. Let them run upstairs to see Daddy while I cleaned up. Wondered aloud, “what are they up to?” when Daddy came down with out them. “Jumping on our bed”. Pet Peeve. Dangerous and requires me to make the bed again. Everything is tossed off my bedside table. Coop screams b/c I put my teddy bear on the bed (yes, I have a teddy bear). Crocodile tears require Daddy in order to ease up. Hustle everyone downstairs to try to head out the door to take Mini to school. Coop shrugs off my attempts to put his shoes on saying, “I pooping, Mommy.” Further attempts to reach Coop are fended off by the Heisman and a “Stay back, Mommy, stay back.” I’m starting to beg. Mini suddenly announces she, too, has to poop. While I’m ‘staying back’ and running upstairs to help Mini, Daddy says, “You guys are still here?”. Take a deep breath. “Yes, we’re having a poop party. Everyone has to go.” Help Mini. Put shoes and coat on a screaming Coop. Wipe his eyes while he clings to me, begging not to be put in his car seat (he still hasn’t been able to go). Eventually get him to sit down. Drive Delaney to school. Delaney walks into her classroom by herself for the first time.
At this point, I feel like I have been in some difficult Mommy-battle for hours. I have experienced every emotion from frustration to guilt to triumph at Delaney’s first time walking into her classroom (I usually have to carry her).
And, let’s be honest….this is just a standard ‘every day’ for most Mommys…me included. But sometimes it feels heavy.
So…I feel a need to refreash, relax, renew, refocus and rejuvenate….and I have found a little something that has been helping me. I try to take 10 minutes to myself everyday. I know it isn’t alot, but I also know many moms feel like they don’t have 10 minutes (and many may not)…but I’ve been trying to carve it into my day…as if it is part of my schedule. During that 10 minutes, I close my eyes and breathe deeply. I think of a phrase or a place that makes me feel peaceful. This is what I picture:
There is something about water/beach/palm trees that I find expecially calming. I have always found the ocean to provide a beautiful sensory experience for me. I get lost in the sound of crashing waves, the smell of sea salt is heavenly, and well…what my eyes take in..that is always engraved in a special place in my brain.
Sometimes I get the chance to lay on the bed when the kids are napping. Sometimes I have to do it sitting up in car while waiting to get Delaney from school. Sometimes, I lay on the floor of the loft while the kids are playing in their rooms.
It is amazing…but this one little adjustment to my day has actually helped me to feel more centered…and it makes me feel more capable of being the Mommy I want to be. The refreshed, relaxed and renewed Mommy. The one who focuses on the joy and appreciate the challenge.